The Long Middle of Divorce 

The Long Middle of Divorce 

In many ways, I was one of the lucky ones. My divorce was filed in June and finalized in September.  We amicably agreed on almost all aspects quickly. (Sidenote for another time: this peace did not last).  

However, for most people, the reality is much different. The average divorce in the US takes a year and highly contested divorces can take much longer.  

So, how do you handle the long middle?   

In short: you prepare for the end.  

The most important financial decisions often come during mediation when quick answers are required. An offer will be made from one side and the question becomes: Is it enough? Answering that question in advance will allow you to take the emotions out of the decision and objectively consider your ability to either accept the offer or counter. 

For example: Is alimony needed?  

If so, how much and for how long?  

Is there sufficient life insurance to protect if one party unexpectedly passes away?  

Is the debt being properly handled?   

What assets are being assigned to each person?  

What are the tax ramifications of those assets?   

How much child support is necessary?   

Who pays for the big things: private school, college, car insurance, extracurriculars?   

As a wealth planner, I can calculate those answers objectively. To do so, proactively think about the following: 

  1. What is your monthly budget? What are your needs and what are your wants? Categorize them as non-discretionary (utilities, mortgage, food, car expenses, health insurance, etc.) and discretionary (travel, entertainment, etc.). 
  1. What are your financial goals? Do you need to begin working or are you hoping for a new job? Do you need to return to school to increase your earning potential? Do you hope to stay in the family home or move? What does retirement look like to you? 
  1. Do you have any specific financial goals for your children? Do they attend private school now and will you keep them there? Do you want to fully pay for your kids’ college or are loans necessary? Are they traveling the country with club sports or staying local? Are there any anticipated medical expenses? 

Having a financial projection in place that outlines exactly what you will need in a settlement will, hopefully, allow for the anxiety to decrease, logic to win, and you to financially prevail. 

Divorce isn’t the only circumstance that we need help navigating. The road of life twists in many ways. Some turns come with plenty of warning signs, while other sudden detours pop up unexpectedly.  

I am passionate about guiding women through these chaotic crossroads with empathy and expertise. Visit my website to learn more about how I can empower you to take on these different challenges with confidence.  

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