Even beginning to think about an estate plan can seem overwhelming.
Before you start stressing out over who gets Grandma June’s antique vase, take a step back and think about who you want to be in charge.
Several recent surveys indicate that two thirds of Americans do not have a will. While that number is troubling in general, it can have devastating consequences for individuals with minor children. Specifically, a will provides an opportunity to name the guardians for your children in the event of your death.
Before we look at specific things to consider, it is important to keep several things in mind:
This choice is changeable. Life circumstances change. The next-door aunt and uncle you choose today might move to Alaska next year. Your 60-year-old parents might be in great health now but that, too, could change. Your selection of a guardian is just for now and can easily, and relatively inexpensively, be changed in the future.
Friends or family – there’s no right answer. There is no requirement that a guardian be a blood relative. A close family friend who could provide a loving, nurturing home for your children is often times the best choice.
More is better. Always have at least two choices for a guardian (other than your spouse), in case the first person named is unable to serve. Additionally, should you name a couple, discuss what should happen if that couple divorces or one of them dies.
So, what are some things to consider when choosing a guardian?
- Who is most able to take on the responsibility of caring for a child? I adore my sisters-in-law, but each of them has four children of their own. So, adding my two children seems too overwhelming.
- Whose parenting style, values, and beliefs do you most appreciate?
- Do you prefer your child to live in a specific geographical location? I have family from Texas to Colorado. It is important to me that my children have an opportunity to see everyone. So, while a specific location is not necessarily important, there is an encouragement to travel.
- Whom does your child already know and love?
After you’ve chosen a guardian, be sure to sit down with them and (1) ask if they would accept that position and (2) briefly tell them why you chose them. Explain what you value about them, what specific things you would like to ensure they do as a guardian, and then review some practical details like education, religion, and behavioral expectations.
Remember, it’s a choice for now and making a choice (no matter how temporary) is better than no choice.
The road of life twists in many ways. Some turns come with plenty of warning signs, while other sudden detours pop up unexpectedly.
I am passionate about guiding women through these chaotic crossroads with empathy and expertise. Visit my website to learn more about how I can empower you to take on these different challenges with confidence.
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