by Ally Kell
You’ve made the decision to divorce. The next question is often just as important: how will you move through the process?
In my experience, couples typically approach divorce in one of three ways: going to trial, working through mediation, or drafting their own agreement for court approval. While the do-it-yourself route can seem appealing, it often comes with hidden risks and unintended consequences down the road. For that reason, this article focuses on the two most common—and structured—paths: trial and mediation. We’ll explore how they differ, what they cost, and how financial advisors can support women through either process.
Mediation vs. trial: what’s the difference?
When a divorce goes to trial, each spouse hires an attorney to advocate for their individual interests before a judge. The judge ultimately decides how assets are divided and how issues like custody and support are resolved.
Mediation, on the other hand, is a collaborative process. Both spouses meet with a neutral third-party mediator who helps guide discussions and facilitate agreements around property division, parenting arrangements, child support, and other key decisions. Lawyers and judges are not required during the mediation itself. Once an agreement is reached, it’s submitted to the court and typically finalized without a formal court appearance.
One of the biggest reasons people choose mediation is cost. On average, a mediated divorce in the U.S. costs between $3,000 and $8,000 total—shared by both spouses. By contrast, a divorce that goes to trial can range from $15,000 to $50,000 per spouse. According to Mediate.com,* mediation is less expensive because it can reduce the number of times people are refiling in court and allows space to develop creative settlements that save both parties money on childcare or other expenses over the long run.
That said, mediation isn’t right for everyone. If the relationship is highly contentious, communication feels unsafe or overwhelming, or you believe you need someone firmly advocating on your behalf, working with an attorney and proceeding toward trial may ultimately be the better option.
How does an advisor support you during mediation?
Whether a divorce unfolds through mediation or trial, financial advisors play a critical behind-the-scenes role. Your advisor helps you understand the short- and long-term financial implications of different settlement options—before decisions are finalized.
For example, you may want to keep the family home. To do that, you’ll likely give up other assets of equal value, such as retirement accounts or investments. While those assets may appear equivalent today, their future value can differ dramatically. A home may appreciate slowly and require a sale to access its value, while an IRA or 401(k) may grow more efficiently over time and provide income in retirement.
Advisors also factor in taxes, liquidity, and timing—especially when evaluating tax-deferred assets that may not feel impactful now but can significantly affect your financial picture decades later. Having this clarity going into mediation can make discussions more productive and empowering. It can also save time and money by reducing the need to work through complex financial questions during expensive, hourly legal sessions.
Should you share an advisor with your spouse?
If you and your spouse currently work with the same financial advisor, it’s natural to wonder whether you should continue that relationship during divorce. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
Some women choose to stay with a trusted advisor, maintaining separate meetings and building independent post-divorce plans. Others prefer to work with separate advisors—sometimes within the same firm—so each person has dedicated support. In those cases, advisors can coordinate behind the scenes to ensure continuity and share historical context, allowing your new advisor to step in fully informed and ready to help.
Beyond asset division: what else should you think about?
Divorce is a series of interconnected decisions, not just a division of accounts. Asset values matter, but they’re only part of the picture. A thoughtful plan also addresses timing, protection, and future responsibilities.
In addition to the checklist prepared by my colleague, here are a few questions that frequently come up during the divorce process—areas where advisors can provide valuable guidance:
- Can you agree on a specific valuation date for joint assets? Without one, values may need to be recalculated repeatedly as markets fluctuate.
- How will you protect your children financially if your former spouse becomes disabled or passes away? This often involves carefully structured life and disability insurance.
- Who will claim the children as dependents on future tax returns, and how will that decision affect both households?
Preparing for your next chapter
Divorce is not just an ending—it’s the beginning of a new chapter. Turning that page can be emotionally and financially overwhelming, and the role of an advisor is to help reduce uncertainty by replacing it with clarity.
Whether you move forward with mediation or through the court system, having the right financial guidance can help you make informed decisions and set yourself up for the life you want beyond divorce.
If you’d like help understanding the financial implications of divorce, complete the form below to request outreach.
Source: Mediate.com
© 2026 Advisory services offered by Moneta Group Investment Advisors, LLC, (“MGIA”) an investment adviser registered with the Securities and Exchange Commission (“SEC”). MGIA is a wholly owned subsidiary of Moneta Group, LLC. Registration as an investment adviser does not imply a certain level of skill or training. The information contained herein is for informational purposes only, is not intended to be comprehensive or exclusive, and is based on materials deemed reliable, but the accuracy of which has not been verified.
Trademarks and copyrights of materials referenced herein are the property of their respective owners. Index returns reflect total return, assuming reinvestment of dividends and interest. The returns do not reflect the effect of taxes and/or fees that an investor would incur. Examples contained herein are for illustrative purposes only based on generic assumptions. Given the dynamic nature of the subject matter and the environment in which this communication was written, the information contained herein is subject to change. This is not an offer to sell or buy securities, nor does it represent any specific recommendation. You should consult with an appropriately credentialed professional before making any financial, investment, tax or legal decision. An index is an unmanaged portfolio of specified securities and does not reflect any initial or ongoing expenses nor can it be invested in directly. Past performance is not indicative of future returns. All investments are subject to a risk of loss. Diversification and strategic asset allocation do not assure profit or protect against loss in declining markets. These materials do not take into consideration your personal circumstances, financial or otherwise.
